Coca-Cola as it pertains to the Pistons
Posted by pistonsnation
Coke and Pistons; a natural pairing
Since nothing has went down in Pistons Nations for a minute it gives us a chance to focus on what’s really important… If the Pistons were Coca-Cola, which incarnation would they be?
**This discussion has it’s origins on Twitter, and at least half the credit belongs to ShalomLansky.
Rodney Stuckey = Coke BlaK
Coke BlaK is supposed to be a of blend of arguably the most popular hot and cold drinks there is. Is that good? For that matters what is Rodney? Is he a point guard, or is he a two-guard? Well, supposedly he’s the best of both.
Rip Hamilton = Diet Coke Plus
Rip is a lean dude, hence the diet part. Rip’s a health conscience dude so the vitamins and minerals in this version of Coke suits his style. Diet Coke Plus contains magnesium sulfate which aids in the conversion of acoustic energy to heat energy. Translation: when you hear those nets start to make that ripping sound you’ll know that Richard is en fuego.
Kwame Brown = The Coke Santa Claus
Despite all the evidence to the contrary we still want to believe in him
Charlie Villanueva = Vanilla Coke
I’m not saying Villy’s game is bland, more that he’s got a vanilla complexion. Plus Villanueva, vanilla…Vanillanueva!
Tayshaun Prince = Diet Coke
You get the obvious diet part. Do you drink it and tell yourself “man, this tastes great” or do you look at the can and think “you could be so much more“?
Jason Maxiell = Coke in the small bottle
It’s good and kind of novel, but it’d really get the job done if it were the full size bottle.
Chris Wilcox = Coke in the big fountain cup
You get so much for such a relatively cheap price. What a value. I hope no one else catches on to this.
Ben Gordon = Coca-Cola Cherry
Joe Dumars envisions a three-guard rotation like the team had when he, Zeke, and Vinnie were all ballin’. BG is best suited to play the part of VJ. Ben’s scoring touch is the sweet flavor off the bench that the Pistons need. It’s good to have Cherry Coke in the cooler for variety, but you’ll find very few that list it as their go-to cola.
Will Bynum = Jack & Coke
Jack & Coke gets the party started whenever it’s in the building. When you’ve got it you’re never quite sure what you’ll see but you know it’ll be exciting.
Austin Daye = Coke Zero
A lot of promise but remember you’d have to add calories to Coke Zero before it even gets to be a Diet Coke.
DaJuan Summers = Coke bottle glasses
You have to think all the other GMs must have been damn near blind to let Summers fall to Dumars at #35.
Jonas Jerebko = Julmust
Julmust is a Swedish cola that is very similar in taste to Coke. Is it as good as coke? Don’t know, never had one.
Ben Wallace = New Coke
We’re going to assume Dumars spends the veteran’s minimum on Big Ben. New Coke was released as a reformulated version to replace the original recipe. New Coke is NOT the Coke you’re used to. Quite frankly it’s nowhere as good as the original. Unfortunately for Pistons’ fans that unlike New Coke we can never get our old favorite back.
John Kuester = Coca-Cola Freestyle
Coca-Cola Freestyle is this new concept. It’s a fountain type machine that lets you choose from a bunch of different Coke products and other flavors to create (hopefully) something that is at least palatable if not really good. This is still in the testing stages, although mixing fountain drinks is not an all together new concept.
Joe Dumars = Coca-Cola Classic
Joe D is a classic, and you can’t front on a classic.
Bonus:
Rasheed Wallace = Organic Coke
News flash; just because it’s green doesn’t make it better. Actually something about it seems pretty unnatural if you ask me.
PNb = Lindsey Lohan
If the Pistons were Coke, then I guess that would make this blog a coke whore.
Tags: Coca-Cola, Detroit Pistons, Isiah Thomas, Lindsey Lohan, Santa Claus
This entry was posted on Friday, July 31st, 2009 at 4:01 pm and is filed under PN articles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Good work running with this one.
July 31st, 2009 at 4:13 pmLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL
July 31st, 2009 at 5:05 pmThe Pepsi logo actually has the red, whit, & blue; but what you’ve done w/the coke is much better. LMAO
Well Done. Especially Coke bottle glasses, ha.
July 31st, 2009 at 11:18 pm[...] Two big terrorist fist jabs to PistonsNation: this 1983 Car & Driver cover featuring a Bill Laimbeer, Kelly Tripucka and a Dodge Caravan will make your week (assuming, of course, you didn’t see it last week, which is when he posted it — better late than never, right?). Also, why Coke Zero has to be Austin Daye’s new nickname. [...]
August 3rd, 2009 at 4:29 am